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~Sarah, Team Uni Snap

She wondered which wounds went deeper
The jagged wounds of reality,
or the profound invisible bruises of the imagination

Vita Sackville-West

Hi, my middle name is overthinking , very pleased to meet you. I can truly overthink events that would never affect me and continue entertaining myself. I can have extremely thought provoking less applicable talks with myself and I owe it to the thoughts. You must think foolish of me. You may call it as self-esteem issues. I call it art. And I am the artist. It’s one of the few other things that I learnt all by myself in the institution of mind. I passed out with flying colours.

If rationale was the light,  overthinking its lurking shadow.

Overthinking has been my companion, it never leaves my back. It started growing the instant I was born. I remember my chemistry tutor once advised ”the first answer you get is the correct one, do not think too much. Start writing what is given and solve with the first idea you had. “ He was right. I started going with the first decisions I made but it was the after thoughts that gave excitement to my tired brain cells. I approached multiple possibilities in faction of seconds and bid farewell at their threshold in the same instant. I have always rationalised my over thinking as being “a careful trait”.

I could have gone for this party. I could have completed the assignment instead.
I could have enjoyed the party and then procrastinated. I could have done entirely
nothing. I ended up overthinking.

May it be in the books, thoughts, between lectures, parking lot and even following me to my next appointment. It comes naturally to you. At one point you stop realising and start enjoying in the lost world of your creative imagination. We are all homesick for that parallel universe of a completely different world with completely different and inviting circumstances. You create fantasies and desired scenarios to whatever experienced previously or yet to happen thanks to overthinking. It is a beautiful cluster of thoughts unsaid and the silence that precedes those thoughts. Wholesome in itself it needn’t depend on anything. Let them get the best of you or make the best of you. Did I just say you? Probably I did.

Universe expands at 72 kilometres per second per megaparsec – roughly 3.3 million light years. I believe it to be the only competitor to my racing over estimated thoughts. My mind is going few many miles a minute. It can be burdensome to overthink at times. But I never actually act on it. I haven’t become a man slaughter, so I guess it should be fine. overthinking seems bittersweet. It’s all in the mind right?

Okay I will stop here..

But recently I toyed with this idea to reduce my overthinking to less than 10 percent per month. By recent I mean a minute back. And it became a pledge, just right now as I write.. Anyone else wants to join leave a reply down below. We can negotiate the percentage accordingly. Ultimately my skill will reduce to 50% in more or less five months. Now I am calculating, don’t misunderstand me I really enjoy calculating. If you lack this skill let me be your coach. I will charge you bare minimum. And what’s  better than thinking and calculating and pledging and earning all at the same time.Ultimately it’s the heart that does the final sign off with the brain in the background noise.

Written by
Sarah Singh Undergraduate,
Bachelors in Business and Commerce (BA)
at Monash University, Malaysia.

 

 

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