We’ll be shacking up, I’ll be offering testimonials
In 9 months, we’re giving birth to the Coronials
~ Lil Durby
Pubs are closed. The world has been brought to a standstill. All the Premier leagues, EFL games and football matches have been put on a halt. The global population has been doomed to isolation in the lockdown which has acted as the necessary stimulant towards what is known as the “COVID Desire”. This has created a spur in the birth rate across the globe. Certainly, we are living inside one of those Stephen King’s novellas.
Interestingly, the term was invented by the Rapper, Lil Durby in his very own rap “Covid Thirst”. However I came across this term, in the very first class of econometrics, the first week itself, when our lecturer shared with me the good news of him being blessed with a coronial, that class was something. One of the interesting topics discussed was “Corona killing baby boomers to make another baby boom!! A win-win is it? “
Surely Baby boomers, mostly 60 and above, have witnessed more mortality rate due to lower immunity against the Wuhan Virus. While a huge baby boom is expected in 2020 spilling into 2021, thereby stepping into teenage in 2033-34 as Quaranteens.
So what happens in quarantine stays in quarantine? Of course not. Certainly, sources suggest that there will be expected Covidalliances and Covidivorces amidst COVID struck the world. However, the fun part is that a lot of memes have surfaced, flooding the entire social media, revolving around the above mentioned. Even funnier, a looming condom shortage because of the disruption in production due to the pandemic has resulted in heightened chances of baby boom. Furthermore, online sex toy sales have also rocketed.
So have quarantine & baby becomes the new version of Netflix & Chill?? Not really.
On the contrary, we do have Dr Liz Allen, Demographer at Australian National University(ANU), stating that couples put off pregnancy during epidemics. For instance, the great recession of 2008 had affected fertility in developed powers like America. With great reverence to the previous statement, we do realise the grave impact ever-growing population has on factors like economy, resources, opportunities etc. However, this doesn’t stop us from spicing up our lives nonetheless(ha-ha).
Being an international student, my idea of flirting with the foreign exchange students is doomed for the time since I have returned back to my home country. Of course, I had insisted on doing my online classes back at home(finger crossed). I even miss the time I spent in the supermarkets. Nevertheless, I did come across spending time indoors in a more productive way through practising yoga, reading books, writing journals, recovering nostalgia by going through old albums, a little bit of family time and many other things that helped me boost happy hormones. Also staying fit is my first and foremost priority as I don’t wish to see my jeans buttons social distancing in the near future.
(9pm) There ain’t no way I leave my place
(11pm) I’m getting tired of all this space
(1am) Send me a picture of your face
(3am) I’m coming over, dressed in lace.
Lastly, to the fellows out there, who neither go my way or the highway, remember Rapunzel was quarantined for 18 years before she met her other half. So be positive and stay indoors. Since our grandparents were expected to go to wars during their times, this is the least we can do. So do stay away from the ” beast of the east “, and try controlling your own inner demons.
Patch-up or break-up? Whatever the case, SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE in the comment section below.